If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
