I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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