is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
