"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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