its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
