doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
