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...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
