Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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