even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
