Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
