The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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