i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.