it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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