things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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