When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
