i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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