your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
