While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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