I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize