so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.