About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
