I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
