So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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