Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I could fuck to npr.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
