your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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