Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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