So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize