Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
