Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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