there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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