Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
