if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
