Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
