the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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