so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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