What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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