Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think my tv is drunk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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