i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
