I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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