remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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