Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
