I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
only if we run a train.
done.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize