he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
