check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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