i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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