I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize