dude i'm inner monologue high
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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