i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
