Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
