sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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