Small penises have feelings too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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