I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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