The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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