the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
