I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
