The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
