; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
