you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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