I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
