i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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