Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
