Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
