Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
