haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
