The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
