I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
