Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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